Danny, one of our fellow "recovered" alcoholics in the trenches, posted this in a study session I'm subscribed to. It brings up a very interesting couple of points with regards to qualifying.
Note: Have you had similar experiences; blackouts? Non-alcoholics and alcoholics BOTH experience this amnesiatic effect when too much alcohol is ingested.
Many non-alcoholics, who have no problems with alcohol, can recall blacking out when they had abused alcohol in the past. ("Don't remember a thing".)
That is because eventually everyone "blacks out" when over imbibing. Even non-alcoholics. It's a human physical fact.
Backouts are NOT symptomatic of alcoholism even though it is symptomatic of an alcohol abuse event. Some non-alcoholics blackout every time they drink! Drinking "too much" is not a qualification either. Sometimes we hear an alcoholic attempting to qualify as "One of us" with a history of "Blackouts". This means nothing to a real alcoholic because everyone blacks out when they drink too much – not just alcoholics. It is just incidental to this particular story, just as incidental as the whiskey/milk concoction in Jim's the salesman's story before it.
So, I've been wondering where my blackout experiences fit in here.
I think Danny just may have found my loophole for me. I didn't black out each and every time I drank, but I damn well blacked out most of my drunks and about every third drunk throughout my life, I damn well could have been diagnosed with "accute alcohol poisoning syndrome" or some such thing. But I don't really remember recall being "struck drunk".
No, I was that guy who started drinking again with the "vaguely sensed" that this might not be too smart, but here goes anyway.
So, maybe I'm not a real alcoholic after all.
And after all these years.
Wouldn't this be embarassing? The waste of time and the ranting.
I'd like to learn more about the drinker who blacks out everytime they drink, but they aren't alcoholic. How does this work for them? They have the physical craving but not the mental obsession? How do you know that they do infact not have the obsession? I'd like to see some links to case histories on that one... maybe find more about this black-outer the next day. If they don't have the mental obsession, then surely they can make their mind up to not drink any or it would result in the blackout. How do they behave during the blackout and through the drunk... through the night? Do they continue to drink while in the blackout? I have experience with this. I've been told I was cut off at the bar, but not kicked out yet. So my friends tell me I just make friends two tables over and drink these new stangers' drinks for them. I srsly don't know how or why I did that, but I did... as witnessed by two of my last co-workers.
Now, so since the dangerous amounts I drank doesn't qualify me, how do we explain the stipulation of physical craving in my case? Does my experience demonstrate that, or not?
I know that something doesn't pan out for me when I drink booze. I guess the "my off button is broken" is no longer a valid qualifier and I should quit using that?
I've heard some of your stories and have tried to remember what makes you a real alcoholic. Was it because you drank every day no matter what? I was not a daily drinker. Was it because you were a New York stockbroker like Bill W. and Danny S? I was not. Did you screw your secretary? I did not.
I'm getting confused here. If I'm not a real alcoholic, then that means I don't need A.A., right? That's ok. I'm not too keen on it these days anyway. I'm kind of burned on the steps too... but I'm willing finish up what I started. I don't sponsor people, so no worries there.
I still have the right to stay sober and seek spirituality, so I guess I see no need to shy away from the blog.
We'll just not see eye-to eye on certain key issues so... no big change there either. The biggest thing is that I would have to stop going to closed A.A. meetings for sure because I'll have to say, "My name is Patrick, and I just found out that I'm not really a real full-blown alcoholic, but I want to continue with my sobriety and seek God", akward. I don't think that would go over in our MOTR open A.A. meetings either. Maybe I need to shorten it up. My name is Patrick and I'm just here to listen. My name is Patrick and I'm a supporter. No. My name is Patrick and I'm in recovery. My name is Patrick and I'm... Any ideas?
