Alcohol Recovery Blog... Well, not so much any more. I've lost all of my support over the last several years obviously. Nobody wants to go head to head with the Anti/XAers anymore. Seems that most have jumped off of the A.A. "bandwagon" all together. I've lost my resolve as well. Still sober 20+ years though. So there is that.
I went to a meeting tonight... on my bike... and got to sit next to S...'s girlfriend. She's cool. Then... some guy was at the door calling for me to come talk to him. It's some guy who asked me to "sponsor" him a week ago. He took my number and didn't call me. I wasn't going to bring it up, I was cool with it. Well, he said he was supposed to 5th step with somebody and he got stood up.
I offered. I went with him and heard his 5th step instead of the meeting. I rehashed 1,2, and 3 with him and had... sort of a problem with his 1st step. But he claimed he doesn't have a problem with his 1st step. I brought him into citing his experience with craving and obsession... still iffy. But I felt sure enough that he was solid on his 1st Step and he certainly wants to quit for good and all and is willing to seek spiritual help.
So I listened ... guiding him along... and in about 2 and a half hours, we were done.
It was a pretty good 4th step. This guy is in the treatment center too. Not the standard 283 question treatment center Q/A inventory either. No, he did a pretty much 4 column inventory. It wasn't perfect. But we went with what he had. He was 20 years my senior, easy. I was moved by the experience and hope he continues on with 6,7,8, 9 etc.
One of his resentments (I considered not devulging this on the internet, but believe I must in order to make the point... and will be as "objective" over the thing as can be and ask that any who read this do the same please) was against my sponsor*. I guess that in the past, my sponsor* told him that he didn't think he was an alcoholic and he left the meeting in a huff.
He said that someone ran outside to him and told him, "That guy is wrong. You're an alcoholic if you say you are. If you have a desire to stop drinking, then you belong."
I asked him, "Was that E... that stopped you"?
He said, "Yes."
Not knowing whether he's really an alcoholic or not, I left that open. I gave him the gift of "Be open to it. Take the path of consideration looking at what the book says. Maybe you are, maybe you are not.
The problem I have with him being an alcoholic is that he says he drank a pint of vodka a night. I asked if he ever drinks more, blacks out, passes out, etc. No. I asked if he gets drunk. Ah... not so sure. It was fuzzy.
I later found out that he drinks enough that his liver gets inflammed and his doctor becomes concerned. Oh... and he hides his drinking from his wife... and ... who knows what else.
I tried to look for progression... consequences when he abruptly stops, etc. Obsession...
I left it with "He is alcoholic to his own understanding." It's a starting point.
*Sponsor. He guided me through the steps once and turned me loose. He would deny that he's my sponsor now... probably... unless I was doing something good.
I went to a meeting tonight... on my bike... and got to sit next to S...'s girlfriend. She's cool. Then... some guy was at the door calling for me to come talk to him. It's some guy who asked me to "sponsor" him a week ago. He took my number and didn't call me. I wasn't going to bring it up, I was cool with it. Well, he said he was supposed to 5th step with somebody and he got stood up.
ReplyDeleteI offered. I went with him and heard his 5th step instead of the meeting. I rehashed 1,2, and 3 with him and had... sort of a problem with his 1st step. But he claimed he doesn't have a problem with his 1st step. I brought him into citing his experience with craving and obsession... still iffy. But I felt sure enough that he was solid on his 1st Step and he certainly wants to quit for good and all and is willing to seek spiritual help.
So I listened ... guiding him along... and in about 2 and a half hours, we were done.
It was a pretty good 4th step. This guy is in the treatment center too. Not the standard 283 question treatment center Q/A inventory either. No, he did a pretty much 4 column inventory. It wasn't perfect. But we went with what he had. He was 20 years my senior, easy. I was moved by the experience and hope he continues on with 6,7,8, 9 etc.
I rode home and it was colder than shit.
Oh... I left something out.
ReplyDeleteOne of his resentments (I considered not devulging this on the internet, but believe I must in order to make the point... and will be as "objective" over the thing as can be and ask that any who read this do the same please) was against my sponsor*. I guess that in the past, my sponsor* told him that he didn't think he was an alcoholic and he left the meeting in a huff.
He said that someone ran outside to him and told him, "That guy is wrong. You're an alcoholic if you say you are. If you have a desire to stop drinking, then you belong."
I asked him, "Was that E... that stopped you"?
He said, "Yes."
Not knowing whether he's really an alcoholic or not, I left that open. I gave him the gift of "Be open to it. Take the path of consideration looking at what the book says. Maybe you are, maybe you are not.
The problem I have with him being an alcoholic is that he says he drank a pint of vodka a night. I asked if he ever drinks more, blacks out, passes out, etc. No. I asked if he gets drunk. Ah... not so sure. It was fuzzy.
I later found out that he drinks enough that his liver gets inflammed and his doctor becomes concerned. Oh... and he hides his drinking from his wife... and ... who knows what else.
I tried to look for progression... consequences when he abruptly stops, etc. Obsession...
I left it with "He is alcoholic to his own understanding." It's a starting point.
*Sponsor. He guided me through the steps once and turned me loose. He would deny that he's my sponsor now... probably... unless I was doing something good.