Thursday, October 6, 2011
Yup. This topic... again.
It was brought up by my good friend at the Thursday night meeting tonight. I was called on to share... because my bro always calls on me... and I was brilliant... in my mind. Srsly though... I had something to say. Two... make that three folks thanked me for my share after the meeting.
I, as well as several others, complimented the chair person for a good topic and a good meeting.
But... someone chastised my share. Someone who is really a good fairly long-time spiritual friend and fellow warrior on the path. She dissed my mention of my cyber-life and quest to find truth and do battle with fellow skeptics, atheists, agnostics, anti/XAers in general... on the internet. She had a spiel about how she hates computers to begin with and how ridiculous it is to engage in some argument with a skeptic over the internet when there's a whole world right in front of you to deal with.
She certainly has her point, I'm sure. It's also so not like her to cut someone else down... in any way. It's so like her husband to do that though. I like them both. I really do. They are way better than me in every way. They are sober 20 + years, have two beautiful children... etc. It is their porch where everybody goes to do fellowship, steps, etc. They are the organizers of the best A.A. meeting in town, and they have taken on ICYPAA and turned it into one of the best step-doing chapters in maybe the whole country. Doubt me on that? Come check out their Friday or Sunday meeting and see for yourself.
But, laying that aside, I gave them a peek at what I've found in cyber-world. The real truth and reality of what we in A.A. are judged as... from all sides. We get to see what our enemies think about us. Good bad of indifferent, I'm told we owe a debt of gratitude to our detractors. This is so not seen down on the group level... street level. At least, I have yet to see it. What this is about is the fact that there are a huge faction of folks that just flat out refuse to meet us even half way on what it means to consider the spiritual approach.
There isn't a chapter in the A.A. book about the atheist who says, "Well fuck you, your A.A. [g]od™, your steps, your book, your founders, and your meeting." Our current retort to that is obviously, "Well fuck you back. Why don't you just go away and stay away from here?"
Face to face, down on the street, I have yet to meet the anti/XAer with the balls to come up and say, "Fuck you A.A. people. You are wrong. God isn't the only way. God isn't the way period. Your [g]od™ and your religion and your cult is destroying the lives of others, children, women, and non-white old conservative Hitler-loving men across the planet.
But, let's not get dramatic here. You know what I'm saying? There's a world out there who seems to want to meet us half way, knowingly or not, on what self-indulgent middle-of-the-road bullshit there is out there.
To folks who come into A.A., get the spiritual gift of surrender, courage, acceptance, decision, and harmonious action, you get a pass on this topic. This has nothing to do with you whatsoever. I'm talking about the person who's been sober in A.A. 8+ years, is burned out and confused about whether they're even alky or not, is confused about their ability to obtain and hold power, is seemingly chronically depressed... and just seems to be missing something. Either that or they're just playing small and in fear of stepping up to the plate. I think they lack faith and/or realization of what it really means to be an alky. But who knows?
I'm talking about the person who maybe a true atheist or they may be just so clogged up with and sick of having another's form of God so shoved down their throat... that they cannot nor will not submit. There are also abuses done upon others' from those who do spiritual manipulation to try to control and exploit another. If you are spending your time trying to constantly trim another or corral them into your way of thinking... are you maybe the predator here? I agree with the anti/XAers that the whole dynamic of "sponsor" makes this very possible and perhaps prevalent.
Part of my share was the notion that there are skeptics out there... and that I'm not one, but I should at least acknowledge them and respect them... and to at least appeal them to skepticize this... maybe "Under God's protection and care with complete abandon" is real. What if it was true? Would I be willing to go for that deal?
If not, I say choose God is nothing and go from there. Do God is nothing and see what comes of it. The battle should be over. You have nothing to fight, no one to oppose. But what about the orthodox steppers and internet-skeptics? They'll surely be there to point their fingers at you when you fail and get drunk and say, "See, maybe you'll see the light now. Come in, get a sponsor, put the cotton in your mouth, take on a coffee commitment... yada yada yada."
They can, in essence, run you away from A.A. Gee, I wonder how many folks have been chased away from Jesus due to born-again Southern Baptist nominal-Christian zealots and Jesus Freaks.