Book talks about yearly inventory with one simple word;
Regular
Question; how many businesses do you know that get by on one inventory?
Well let's just 10th step it.
Don't think so.
Did something happen to you when you last went through 4 to 9?
Well if so why the fuck would you want to deny yourself of that now?
If you've got 20 years sober in A.A. and got by on one inventory, then you're not sober with 20 years. What you've got is 6 months repeated 40 times.
Myself, I've done many inventories many ways and answered ALL of the inventory questions in AA literature.
ReplyDeleteStep 10 suggests that we take an inventory each day and promptly admit when we are wrong.
Colter
No, for me... I see it differently.
ReplyDeleteMy book says "when we were wrong" not "where".
Where implies guilt. Sometimes we were/are NOT wrong.
In fact, sometimes we are right. If we're doing something right, we really need not fix it.
And besides that, I do a nightly review which is 11th Step. There again, we ask "Were we?" not "When we were..." which implies guilt.
I use the 10th Step as a door knob to door knob walking around out and about type of thing. It's where I watch ask discuss turn and carry. It's what I do between On awakening and When ee retire at night. When we pray we pray and when we meditate we meditate, but when you're in the middle of the street, don't stop. When the light's green go!
I use the 10th step to become aware of my behavior for when I'm doing my review. It also enables me to nip things in the bud and call somebody. But the latter half of the 11th step guides me in this as well; pause when agitated or doubtful... pray for the right thought or action... Thy will not mine be done.
But what about when your/my will is A-ok? I don't need to turn my will over to anything.
Sometimes I'm / your in a state of consciousness where my will has merged with Divinity. Then "not mine" would appear negative and defeated.
I didn't mean to imply that you said "where" rather than "when" but am just talking in general terms. I've seen people use or try to use the 10th step that way... where they assume guilt and live in fear because they assume it's the thing to do.
ReplyDeleteFor those of us who DO yearly inventory, here's a few things I'm observing right now doing a 4th step.
ReplyDelete1) I'm all fired up writing columns one and two now and things are firing up and good to get down on paper and out of my head.
2) Once I've decided into this again, my resentments seem to come flying right to me and I don't have to look far to see who I'm judging and who's hurt threatened or interfered with me. Most people don't want to hear me bitch anyway, but I sure can get it down on paper.
3) Prior to doing this, I couldn't see all this shit and could have just as easily have blown it off and thought I was doing fine with 10, 11, etc. It's too easy to bullshit ourselves till we get to writing. My experience anyway
I do not believe that there's anything wrong with doing yearly inventory.
ReplyDeleteI do not believe that I should get a sponsor and make him my life-long Higher Power or boss or even friend. Normally, we would not mix. Remember that shit? Outside of the bar or the A.A. meeting, we may not have anything in common. So why would we hold hands unto eternity? Hey, don't get me wrong... if that does it for you, get down. It's just not for me. The dude is 60+ years old. He's closer to my parents' age than my oldest brother.
But I'll tell you where I will use him... to 5th Step with. To help form a home group with. To go on a 12 Step call with. To go to the NHRA with.
I've done steps before so I can and will take my good time on my current 4th step. You've got to get around people and really experience first-hand and current where your self esteem lies amongst the people about you. And I'm not talking about your self-worth. Your self-worth isn't something you tell yourself that you are while you're sitting on your couch at 9:30 am while your bread-winning wife is off to work paying the bills and being the provider of the family... aka wearing the balls. Your self worth is the truth. It's what tells you what you really are when you're at work and you're receiving that promotion because you earned it. Self-esteem is the feeling you get when someone pays you a compliment... and it's also that feeling you get when someone flips you off and it ruins your day. Self-esteem is acute... albeit necessary. Self-worth is chronic... and also very necessary.
If you can't handle a yearly inventory, just fess up. Save your crappy opinion for something you can't hang with.