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Thursday, July 23, 2015

The Horror and Shame of meeting A.A. people on the street...

A.A. dude: How are you doing, McGowdog? I haven't seen you in a loooooong time! :)

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Me: I'm good. And you?

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A.A. fellow : I'm FANTASTIC! Haven't seen you around for a loooooooooong time! :)

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Me: Well go bleep yourself bleephole! Srsly though... so I lie! How bleeping pathetic is that? I have to resort to a lie! I say, "Well bleephole... no srsly, I say, "Well D... ude, I've not seen YOU in MY homegroup meeting on MONDAY ever!"

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This is all to just get him off my back. So why can't I just say, "Oh, well D...ude, I've quit A.A. I just don't go anymore."

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I couldn't muster the words. I didn't have the heart. I'm just chicken-bleep.

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So he says, "So, how are YOU doing? Really?

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BLEEP you bleeping bleephole. I'm doing fine, FANbleepingTASTIC, bleephole! I'M DOING BETTER THAN bleepING YOU BleepDAMNIT!

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BleepoHOLICS ANONYMOUS!

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BLEEP YOU ALL.

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:)


4 comments:

  1. lol, you have a great website but it appears you got so caught up in YOU, you're arrived at a pity party ;)

    Of all people, you ought to know that not going to meetings for a bit doesn't mean yer not in AA. AA is a spiritual fellowship, and if yer recovered: yer in it.

    Just flow with the go during this period, it will pass. Try taking on a prison committment, bet you're counting your lucky stars in no time, least it does that for me.

    Anyways, will keep you in my prayers.

    M.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey MaryGold, thanks for the response.

    The guy I speak of is really a nice guy. He doesn't deserve my assessment of him. It's just a sort of tongue in cheek rant coming from the perspective of perhaps one of those anti or ex-A.A.ers who have left A.A. and see it as a waste of time or a cult. I cannot relate to these folks even to this day because they imply that A.A. is worse than someone who either just continues to drink or one who is sober and who is still miserable.

    I know too many decent folks in A.A. for me to forget how helpful it has been to me.

    I tried to mentor new folks on my path to sobriety and had a hard time finding any one who wanted what I had, or who saw the need on seeking help outside themselves.

    Most people seem untrusting these days.

    But trying to ease away from this deal has been a challenge not for my sobriety, but to find out where I fit in going forward.

    If I'm not going to meetings and not helping new drunks, I feel I'm of no use to these people who do.

    Besides my homegroup missing me and wishing me well, I haven't run into these other folks nor been contacted by them much at all. It's like I'm being sheltered from it all lately.

    I've enjoyed my hiatus and would lime to see how long it may continue.

    I would like to think that I am doing well enough to continue on with a spiritual life and may still follow a few simple rules, I just don't have to fit that into someone else's timeline, and how freeing THAT is!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sober, 12 years, haven't been to a meeting since last May or June.

    I still don't want to drink booze. I just don't cross paths with the A.A. folks anymore, really.

    I don't oppose them, I don't envy them.

    I am perhaps being selfish by doing my own thing, spending lots of time with my wife, working on the house, doimg a few of my favorite hobbies, doing well in my career.

    It's nice not having to think and talk and teach alcoholic drinking every day, day after day.

    Don't miss arguing with the folks on what is the proper and perfect way to do steps and how to show others, most of which come in with their own play, about 99% of the time.

    ReplyDelete