Tuesday, November 29, 2011


So what do y'all think about snuffing?

I swear that all the secular folks take all the fun out of even fucking kicking the old bucket.

I try to converse with rational folks about the holidays on my states forum and damned if some radical atheistic fucks don't come along and shit on the thread about how their mother died on Thanksgiving Day or Christmas so... they want to shout "God is evil" out one side of their mouths and shout "Materialistic lunacy" out the other side.

So what do you think about death? Is it so bad? If my loved one dies is it to me to say to the universe, "How fucking dare you take this poor cancer suffering soul away from ME!"?

My cousin died on November 20th of kidney cancer and do you think she or her family shy'd away from Thanksgiving
? No. They had it one week early and considered it a blessing. I think that's graceful.

So... tell me of a spiritual discipline that doesn't start off with the acknowledgement that we are going to die.

Knowing I'm going to die is a great starting point and building block to living.

What say you?


  1. Is death bad? Huh! Death is death - something we're all gonna face. I don't fear it nor do I worry about it. It's going to happen.

    Now life! That's what's important to me. How I live it is my main concern. I've been around a while, done some good and some not so good things in my day. So now I concentrate on using whatever time I have left to do the best that I can.

    It's sad when others we know die unexpectedly, but to be angry about it is fruitless. How many times have I heard the question "How could God let..."? My response is always "How could He NOT let..."

    I was about to be married many years ago when my fiance suddenly died. I was grateful for the time we had together and pissed at my luck. But I accepted her death as an event that happened as it was supposed to happen. That's not to say the grief wasn't unbearable, but there was never any anger at God for her demise.

    And death isn't something I think about a lot, particularly my own. I just hope that when the time comes, I'll be comfortable that I lived my life trying to do the next right thing.

  2. I think it was Covey (7 spiritual laws guy) who presented us with the exercise of writing your own obituary... what would you have them say about you?

    Frank said, "Don't you dare eulogize me at my funeral! You tell the damn truth about me." Or something to that extent. Frank was a sometimes mean and nasty individual. But he really cared about you deep down.

    He wasn't a nice guy nor did he care if he did the "Next right thing." He stood by principles and didn't really care how you got there.

    When he talked about having an open mind, he said how he thought that meant that all you need to do is add to what you already know... to that vast knowledge that was already stockpiled.

    What he came to find out about having an open mind is throwing the towel in on the whole deal. Change your mind. Change your mind to what you think is right, wrong, up, down, good, bad... oh, and Fuck your feelings. Why? Because of the idiocy of "If it feels good, it's good for you." and "If it feels bad, it's bad for you."

    I don't think about death much either until it comes up. My own death was on my mind when I last went rafting. Something I learned about me is that I don't really want to die right now no matter what.

    But I was sort of talking about how we deal with the death of our loved ones... and how we pick up the pieces and move on... regardless of whether it happens on Christmas Day, Thanksgiving, or on my damned birthday.

    Be sad and grieve. But to bring your grief to others' as an excuse to rain on the parade just seems so selfish and self-pitying to me. If I do that, just shoot me or something. Or maybe tell me to buckle down on that 11th Step.

  3. One of the biggest obstacles in my quest to find God was the prayers that went unanswered. My prayers of gifts that I wanted for my birthday seemed to fall on deaf ears. I asked God "Please don't let my Grandfather die" was met with a sound "No". The prayers, the denials of my wishes lead me to believe there was no God. For if there was certainly some of my prayers whether they be reasonable or unreasonable would be answered. I'm not interested in the philosophical "Sometimes the answer is no" bullshit either. Please God, give me something. Help me believe in anything. At this point, anything would have been better than nothing.
    Didn't God have a divine plan where things were going to be what they were regardless? So why pray at all? Things unfolded the way they were intended. Why wasI wasting my time in prayer?
    Having been in AA for a while it finally dawned on me. Even though I took Step 11 "Asking only for knowledge of his will for me and the power to carry that out" was fine. Until one day a single word stood out. "Only" for knowledge.... Now I understood. After all this time I finally realized that life goes on. Please God. Give me the strength to deal with it. Who the hell am I to ask God to change his Divine Plan anyways? Especially for my wants. It was all worked out long before I was born. All I can ask for and have any realistic expectations for an answer is strength, courage and perseverance. Please grant me what it takes is what I ask for. My prayers are often answered too.
    So now, instead of asking for Ms. November to knock on my door, I can ask for what it takes to deal with it when she doesn't.

  4. I've been wrestling with this "asking God" thing for a while. His will vs. my will sort of thing. I've come to believe that God doesn't mind us asking for personal desires. But the kicker here is that we have to accept the outcome of our requests, like it or not.

    So if, once in a while, I say to God "Hey, I could use a favor here", that's OK. But if the answer is a (non-philosophical) "Nope!", I can accept that and move on. Now, whether the outcome is affected by my asking or not, I don't know.

    Like Cuda's, my prayers are for the most part very simple. "Show me the way". Yet, every once in a while I may sneak in a "Hey, how about a little favor here." So long as I have my priorities straight, I don't think God minds my asking.

  5. I'm still laughing about the Turduckin', good stuff. I don't think about death much, same way I don't think about drinking. I try to avoid labeling death as good bad etc.. That being said, I have seen good deaths, my grandfather's passing was one, I have seen bad death, a sponsee hanging himself 3 years ago.

    I like the idea of completely dying the death of self before the physical body goes. Those of us who practice the 12 steps have a shot at achieving this.

  6. I don't like change so I don't like death.

    But part of living a spiritual life is trying to accept the constant change and letting God be God.

    Death is the great reminder.

    The fact that we understand our own mortality is probably a big part of our spirituality.

    Fuck those atheists who say if there was a God they wouldn't have lost their loved one.

    That's just the wordly, material side talking.
    The 'king/queen baby' throwing a tantrum.

    No one else has gotten out alive so why should I or anyone I know. Just because they're in my circle of awareness things will be different ? No. That's alcoholic thinking for me.

  7. I've been dead once. Ain't no big deal. So no the thought of dying doesn't bother me. Not in hurry to get there anytime soon, but no it doesn't scare me.

    I grieve my mother's passing, it's been over a year, almost a year and a half and I still get sad, deeply sad at times. I'm grieving another sort of death right now. Embrace it, be with it. Don't wallow in it and let in turn in morbundity, but don't fear it either. Grief can be a transforming thing if you let it...it will soften your heart and sharpen your insight and bring you back to yourself.

    Most don't really fear death anyway, the fear what it brings up in them.

  8. Jim, Tony, Rob, Joe, Cuda, McGowdog. The planets are aligned.

    Happy Holidays to ya all.

    If whiskey don't kill me, I'll live till I die.