Thursday, March 18, 2010
What is my part?
Something tells me that we're doing something wrong.
I'm not too sure though.
Here's the story. I was just standing there minding my own business when a I saw a friend from High School. I smiled and waved as I approached him. When I got close enough he kicked me in the nuts, stole my wallet and ran off with my Wife.
OK, it could happen to anyone. One day I got a letter in the mail stating she had a baby and I was responsible for the Hospital bill since we were still married.
I called a Lawyer and he said it was true and that I would have to pay for the bill. This tidbit of bad news also cost me half a weeks pay.
Now I'm officially pissed. It's not fair. This is Bullshit. So I stewed over this for years. I was hurt, betrayed by a buddy, raked over the coals by a wife. Then when the divorce was final I lost the house and half my 401k but in return I got all the bills. So I stewed some more. I fumed and I held a full blown resentment. I had a right to this resentment and I would drink it away.
Of course I'd drink it away. I'm an Alcoholic.
Then the day came where I couldn't drink. I had to face the fact that I'm an Alcoholic and I was powerless.
What better way to quit than go to Alcoholics Anonymous.
I Took Steps one two and three with a Sponsor and then comes the dreaded Step 4.
I don't know why it's dreaded, but it is for some reason. I think it's a continuing legend passed on by generations of people that never took a 4th step
So my sponsor sits me down and tells me to write an inventory.
I guess you have to read the book to understand this one.
List my resentments! Huh? I tried
I talked to my Sponsor about my wife, my best friend and me financing their honeymoon.
So my Sponsor says, "What was your Part"
My part? I was just standing there and got kicked in the nuts by my friend and he ran away with my wife. I don't have a part.
"Of course you have a part retorts the Sponsor!
No I don't.
"Ha Ha Ha, you Pigeons are funny. We all have a part."
Where does this come from?
Why all the insistence that we always have to have a "Part" ? Can't I just be the victim and consider myself entitled to my resentment?
I don't want a part, I don't need a part, and I don't need to be told I have a part.
Now I'm getting another resentment.
The Book asks, "What was my part" but it isn't crystal clear as to whether I really must have a part at all. I don't.
So I can only assume that if we hear it in AA and it's not in the book it must have come out of someones ass. Somebody pulled it out of their ass because they didn't read the book.
In the rooms of AA it falls upon the ears of a newcomer and they swallow it.
Don't swallow something that comes from someones ass.
This story is fictional and any resemblance's to any story by any real person is purely coincidence.