War Stories

War Stories.   What are they?  Why bad?  What's wrong with talking about booze?  What is wrong with talking about 'what it was like'?  Where do we cross the line between war story and qualifying?


I suppose we have to define the line of when, where, and what; Let's say we're giving a 10 minute pitch for our birthday or we're the first of two speakers... or let's say this is our lead and we're given the whole hour to speak.  Or... let's just say we're at a meeting and the topic is the 1st Step.


I belonged to a group where, on you A.A. birthday (yearly intervals only), you get up and give a 10 minute pitch of what happened.  Nothing else.  Just how you drank booze.  No God talk or wonderful shiny glitter talk... not the wonderous things you've done now that you're sober.


When I give a pitch, I talk about booze and my relation to it.  I try to demonstrate where, when, and how I lost control physically and mentally.  I then talk about what happened... a description of my notion to try A.A., yet again... or in this last case, my decision to go to "that" A.A. meeting and come clean on where I was at... with no hope or notion that this was it... the big surrender.  But surrender I did, and I talk about what was said then... by me and by Gary;


Me:  I need help.


Gary:  We can help you.  Do you have a problem with booze?


Me:  Yes.


Gary:  Do you want to quit for good and all?  Do you want to do something about it?


Me:  Yes.  Yes.


Gary:  Get writing.  Have a 4th Step done for me in... 21 days.  Be open to your 1st Step.  Maybe you're not alky.  Maybe you are.  Don't answer than now.  Review your 1st step and your concept of God each time before you sit down to write.  Decide in or out.  You need Power and you need it now.  You are up for grabs.  We cannot fix you or stop you.  Either you're gonna do this stuff or you're not, Bud.  It's up to you.


...


So I did that and it lead to now... 7 years sober and counting.


That's basically my story, my lead, my pitch.


But I talk about booze.  Not just in a general way.  I can talk about the feel, the taste, the comfort and peace and ease...  Booze did for me what nothing else that I could muster could.  Are you like me?

Roger Ebert Article

Well I've been hearing about this from Stinkin' Thinkin', and now a recovery site. So I thought I'd check it out.

I read the blog or whatever that is and don't know what I think about the guy yet. I'd like him to qualify for one thing. I'm not sure he's an alcoholic yet. I don't identify with his story and could care less about his 30 years of continuous sobriety. I want to know if he has to do what I do to stay spiritually fit. What's his experience with the steps? That's all I care about.

As Stinkin' Thinkin' rightly points out, he seems to be an A.A. appologist. A.A. needs no appology, but we'll look into a bit of what he says. Evidently, he has spent some time doing something. We'll try to find out what that is and see if it measures up with my experience in the steps. He says words like disease and addiction and "plug in the jug", which I hate. It's MOTR BS. Wedge. He's full of shit so I can't here him. But we'll see.

I tried to comment on one of the comments and his site wouldn't accept it, so I'll start my comments here;


Hey Sharon, about that 5th comment from 10:34 am on the 25th of August;

It's nice that your brother got sober on Rational Recovery. Whatever works. Sure! If rational thought works for you, do it!

I go to meetings here and there besides my homegroup. My homegroup is closed A.A. and it's just for alcoholics who submit to the steps as they are in the book and we are a group that discusses our experience and that's about it. We don't study the book. We just do it and discuss our current experience on it and we question each other about stuff. It's hard core, if you will.
But I go to these other meetings from time to time and there's this counselor from the local treatment center that's sort of the spiritual guru of this place. He brings his clients to this one meeting on Monday evenings. I ask him about Life Ring, Rational Recovery, SMART, SP, and I wonder if he knows about them. He says he's checked them out and that they may be fine for the hard drinker or hard drug user, but they don't work for the real alcoholic or the real addict. Didn't the founder drink again? Oh, well in that program, they don't talk about that stuff, right? Don't want to label anybody here, right? slipper-ER!!!!!!! Sorry.

Then I asked him about secular recoveries. He said he checked that out too. Evidently, he says, all they do in there is sit around and 8!#ch about A.A.

Step 5: a recent experience

5th Step; a recent experience

When I see that I'm wrapping up that dreaded inventory, I call my 5th step partner or spiritual advisor and arrange a place, a date, and a time.

I show up with my inventory and before we begin (keep in mind, you may be on the other side of the 5th step some day ) we review steps 1, 2, and 3 first.

My most profound 1st step experience ever came when I went over to Dr Death's home to 5th step. The first thing he did with me when I asked him to take me through the steps was to ask me to write a piece of inventory. Just one piece.

So I brought it to him and he showed me how to write the columns. Then when I went to 5th step with him, he looked at my inventory and sent me home. He said, "This is your life and death here. This is sloppy. Get this dribble out of your 3rd column and put it back in the 2nd column where it belongs. Is it ok to write about my self and God? Sure. Get it down on paper. Don't judge your work. So after I'd gone back home and finished it, got a ruler out and made straight lines and wrote neatly, I was done. So I went back to his home to 5th step. He said, "I don't know you. Tell me about your drinking." So I told him about my drinking. He said, "That's it?" So I dug down deep and just started talking about everytime I drank and got drunk from back when I was 10 years old to the present. I was shook up and about to explode. He looked at me and said, "Do you now believe that God can do for you .... what you cannot and take you further in every area of your life?" I said "Yes!" We then proceeded on to the 3rd step prayer. Then he said, "Read."

I shared my inventory with him and he shared some stuff with me too. When we were done, he said "Watch the road." I said, "What?" He said "Seriously, be careful driving home and watch the road. Go home and take the book down off the shelf and do what it says to do. Then go and meditate what you've done. Consider the 1st 5 proposals..."

Oh, I'm sorry! I said a recent experience! Well, most all of my inventories have gone that way. On this last one, when I was reading resentments against my brother, I literally got up and started pacing the floor, any my advisor said, "Sit down and settle down." I was feelin' it. I always love the way I feel when I finish 5th stepping. Unless I'd been sent home to rewrite the thing, I know that I'm lined up to finish the other steps; 6,7,8,9, and even 10. Then once I start 9, I can start on 10 and 11. Oops. Getting ahead of myself.

Whenever I baulk on any of these steps, a wonderful tool has been given to me; ask yourself if doing this step is harder than drinking down a bottle of Bourbon? Then I get to thinking, it's not that bad. If you feel like you might be sharing something with someone that will harm or affect them, don't do it. Find someone who's had your experience and gotten past it with God's help. If you go to enough speaker meetings, surely you'll find that person.