Step 5: a recent experience

5th Step; a recent experience

When I see that I'm wrapping up that dreaded inventory, I call my 5th step partner or spiritual advisor and arrange a place, a date, and a time.

I show up with my inventory and before we begin (keep in mind, you may be on the other side of the 5th step some day ) we review steps 1, 2, and 3 first.

My most profound 1st step experience ever came when I went over to Dr Death's home to 5th step. The first thing he did with me when I asked him to take me through the steps was to ask me to write a piece of inventory. Just one piece.

So I brought it to him and he showed me how to write the columns. Then when I went to 5th step with him, he looked at my inventory and sent me home. He said, "This is your life and death here. This is sloppy. Get this dribble out of your 3rd column and put it back in the 2nd column where it belongs. Is it ok to write about my self and God? Sure. Get it down on paper. Don't judge your work. So after I'd gone back home and finished it, got a ruler out and made straight lines and wrote neatly, I was done. So I went back to his home to 5th step. He said, "I don't know you. Tell me about your drinking." So I told him about my drinking. He said, "That's it?" So I dug down deep and just started talking about everytime I drank and got drunk from back when I was 10 years old to the present. I was shook up and about to explode. He looked at me and said, "Do you now believe that God can do for you .... what you cannot and take you further in every area of your life?" I said "Yes!" We then proceeded on to the 3rd step prayer. Then he said, "Read."

I shared my inventory with him and he shared some stuff with me too. When we were done, he said "Watch the road." I said, "What?" He said "Seriously, be careful driving home and watch the road. Go home and take the book down off the shelf and do what it says to do. Then go and meditate what you've done. Consider the 1st 5 proposals..."

Oh, I'm sorry! I said a recent experience! Well, most all of my inventories have gone that way. On this last one, when I was reading resentments against my brother, I literally got up and started pacing the floor, any my advisor said, "Sit down and settle down." I was feelin' it. I always love the way I feel when I finish 5th stepping. Unless I'd been sent home to rewrite the thing, I know that I'm lined up to finish the other steps; 6,7,8,9, and even 10. Then once I start 9, I can start on 10 and 11. Oops. Getting ahead of myself.

Whenever I baulk on any of these steps, a wonderful tool has been given to me; ask yourself if doing this step is harder than drinking down a bottle of Bourbon? Then I get to thinking, it's not that bad. If you feel like you might be sharing something with someone that will harm or affect them, don't do it. Find someone who's had your experience and gotten past it with God's help. If you go to enough speaker meetings, surely you'll find that person.