Saturday, June 6, 2009

A.A.-Basher's 12 Step Program

I've been looking for A.A. Program on the www since I got my first PC, a 386-SX! Remember those? 16 Mhz! 40 Meg HDs! 2400 baud Hayes modems! Communication post! God only knows how hard it is to find good A.A. at meetings! Oops... did I say that out loud?

Anyway, I'm pro-A.A. because I'm a real alcoholic who needs this stuff. Once in a while it's fun to step back and find the humor in what they've been saying about us. The book's been out for 70+ years and if they haven't learn to respect what it says by now, maybe they won't ever. So let's just do a little rewrite of the steps according to what we've seen in some of our meetings... or at least what they claim it's like. Enjoy.

1. Admitted that our parents are terrible and it's the world's fault.

2. Came to believe that reliance on God is weak and a cop-out. Call it a disease and beg the Gov't for money.

3. Made a decision to smoke lots of cigarettes and drink lots of coffee.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of everybody else in the room.

5. Admitted to me myself and I that if I ever get as bad as those others, I'm gonna ask for help.

6. Were entirely ready to pontificate on what this program is all about.

7. Humbly looked into the mirror and compared my outsides to your insides.

8. Made of list of people who owe me money.

9. Made direct ammends and told people what I really think about them.

10. Continued to find excuses for my behavior and unique ways of blaming others.

11. Sought through Praise and Medication to improve my mood and ask God to help me feel good.

12. Give freely everything I've learned.

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