I know of only one other meeting in town that's anything like my homegroup's closed A.A. meeting.
Most other meetings have a "chip chick" or a "chip chico" who gives the new 24 hour people a Keep Coming Back chip, they give a red chip for 30 days, a gold chip for 60 days, a green chip for 90 days, a blue chip for 6 months, a purple chip for 9 months, and a metal medallion for 1 year, 18 months, 2 years, etc.
Oh, and a hug.
These meetings are geared towards the Newcomer.
The new people get to share 1st, but are asked to not talk about their drug of choice or how much they used because we've all used to excess... That's exactly what they say and how they say it. Then the 30 day people get to share, then 60, 90, 6 month, 9 month, 1 year, 18 month, etc. Then they say "Just for today!" Then more ((((((((hugs))))))))) and claps and cheers. (the hugs only appear to be uneven. One-armed-Louie had an incident to his left arm at a bar one night... bars are rough down here in Southern Colorado)
Then ... did I say they read the Daily reflections and Courage to Change? Then the chairperson says, "Does anyone have a topic?"
Then I whisper, "Chair the fucking meeting."
Then it's 6:35 pm.
Then they pass the basket, and the meeting goes on till 6:55 and they have someone read the promises and we close with the Lord's Prayer and at the end, they all say, "Work work work."
So, that's good for the newcomer how?
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Recovered vs Recovering
It is popular in certain circles to say, “I am recovering”; Now you may know immediately that those who say they are, are not.
They are telling you that this program does not work.
They are telling you that they are less than they are.
And they are not responsible for their lives.
That anything that happens to them is because they are recovering, and they have no responsibility.
RIP, Frank McK from Denver Colorado
They are telling you that this program does not work.
They are telling you that they are less than they are.
And they are not responsible for their lives.
That anything that happens to them is because they are recovering, and they have no responsibility.
RIP, Frank McK from Denver Colorado
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Let's go into an AA 12 Step forum and bitch about "Hardliners" and run and hide behind the keyboard
Well... a few of my fellow posters didn't appreciate this too much.
Sorry about it. I was ticked and I wasn't too nice. I should be ashamed.
Sorry about it. I was ticked and I wasn't too nice. I should be ashamed.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Alcohol Recovery Standard Disclaimer
I do not speak for A.A., but only try to relate my most current experience to the work we do from the book Alcoholics Anonymous 1st Edition, of which I refer to often.
I'm not an expert of any sort and do not proclaim to have anything special, except that I'm sober and free of alcohol today and I take no mind altering drugs. That's a Miracle in itself.
I did not rationalize my way into recovery and if you have any problems with the terms alcohol, alcoholism, recovered, God, physical craving, craving, allergy, spiritual malady, not a religion, not a sect, not a denomimation, not a political affiliation, hard drinker, not cured, not a disease, not a cult, etc., then this blog is not for you.
I don't debate. It's a waste of time. I'm not going to change your mind and you're not going to change my mind.
If you like what I do, which is hard to see over the WWW btw, then try what I've done. If you don't, then don't. Pretty simple deal.
I try to be open-minded, truthful, helpful, and humorous. I'm not perfect at any of these goals by any means. I've even been known to learn something and been willing to consider something outside of my own knowledge and/or experience. But with which I speak, I have a bunch of experience in this stuff and something's working for me. If it wasn't, I wouldn't be wasting so much time with this and wouldn't be so passionate about it.
I am really trying to be helpful in all that I say and do. Sometimes my writing style doesn't come off that way. If you get offensive and attack me, I'll get offensive and attack you back... 10 fold. And that works for me. Agree with me, then tell me why. It does me good to know that something worked for you and how you did it. We like to repeat success. really, we do.
McGowdog
I'm not an expert of any sort and do not proclaim to have anything special, except that I'm sober and free of alcohol today and I take no mind altering drugs. That's a Miracle in itself.
I did not rationalize my way into recovery and if you have any problems with the terms alcohol, alcoholism, recovered, God, physical craving, craving, allergy, spiritual malady, not a religion, not a sect, not a denomimation, not a political affiliation, hard drinker, not cured, not a disease, not a cult, etc., then this blog is not for you.
I don't debate. It's a waste of time. I'm not going to change your mind and you're not going to change my mind.
If you like what I do, which is hard to see over the WWW btw, then try what I've done. If you don't, then don't. Pretty simple deal.
I try to be open-minded, truthful, helpful, and humorous. I'm not perfect at any of these goals by any means. I've even been known to learn something and been willing to consider something outside of my own knowledge and/or experience. But with which I speak, I have a bunch of experience in this stuff and something's working for me. If it wasn't, I wouldn't be wasting so much time with this and wouldn't be so passionate about it.
I am really trying to be helpful in all that I say and do. Sometimes my writing style doesn't come off that way. If you get offensive and attack me, I'll get offensive and attack you back... 10 fold. And that works for me. Agree with me, then tell me why. It does me good to know that something worked for you and how you did it. We like to repeat success. really, we do.
McGowdog
Step 1: Am I an Alcoholic?
Step 1: am I an alcoholic?
I think this should be asked of every new person prior to coming to the meeting... and be asked to have an open mind to your first step.
Am I an alcoholic? Well am I? How do I find out?
One good way is to go back into my own experience. Look at how I drank booze. Not so much looking at the drama or outer circumstances, but how was it with me and booze? How was it when I tried to control my drinking? Why did I feel the need to control my drinking? How was I when I was abruptly separated from booze once I had a good drunk started?
Ultimately, could I control the amount once I started, and/or, could I stay stopped for something like a year on my own power. When I read pages 30, 31, 32, 33, etc... I start to understand why I might just be an alcoholic.
It's also good to know what an alcoholic isn't. What is a hard drinker? What is a moderate drinker? A teetotaler? Can a hard drinker cross the line and become a real alky? Well, evidently yes. And once an alky, always an alky. But not just anybody can get drunk and become an alcoholic. It's complicated, but it just doesn't work that way. Alcoholism is a very selective malady and tests have been done to support this "theory" if you will. I like what a book Under the Influence says about the matter. But I don't like the doc's plan for recovery.
That's all we need, is another plan, right?
But I was given the dignity to find out for myself whether I was an alky or not. I was not forced, coerced, rushed, etc. into AA. I was given the dignity to come to my own conclusion and act accordingly. At one point, my group had to watch me fight recovery and go out and drink again. As the book say, alcohol is the Great Persuader. For it finally and once again "beat me into a state of reasonableness."
When I came back in, they said I looked whipped. They said I was quiet, scared, and didn't seem to have a plan. For me, that was the start of my first step. But I was given the gift of "being open to my first step" and follow the path of consideration.
To partake in a spiritual excercise, you have to start with a question, not an answer.
It was not necessary that I drink again because for one thing, that's dangerous for a guy like me. I could have died or killed people. But... I got in fear and refused to deal with it. Another plan is to see how well you stay sober on your own power. If neither that nor trying some controlled drinking doesn't work, you're probably an alcoholic.
Coming to the realization that you're an alcoholic should be a scary one. It was for me. For, left to my own devices, I will drink again. And for me to drink again means
death
insanity
incarceration.
So this idea of a God personal to me becomes pretty believable. That's how the 1st step shakes out for me. It's not just the 1st step as listed on the Step Scroll or on page 60. It's everything from Title Page, preface, forwards, Dr's Opinion, Bill's Story, There is a Solution, More about Alcoholism, and a paragraph on We Agnostics... other known as the Bedevilments... "We were having problems with personal relationships..."
And if you'll notice, the first 8 pages of Bill's Story is his drunkalog. You can ask yourself "How did I drink, think and feel like Bill?" Pages 9-16 was what he did to recover.
Up to page 23 or so... that's the physical "craving of booze" when it's in my body. From right after that to about page 43, that's the mental obsession or when alcohol is not in my body, but in my mind; the mental obsession. Then the bedevilments on page 52 talk to me about the spiritual malady, or my life without God, whether I'm sober or not.
Step 1, for me it didn't happen over night.
I think this should be asked of every new person prior to coming to the meeting... and be asked to have an open mind to your first step.
Am I an alcoholic? Well am I? How do I find out?
One good way is to go back into my own experience. Look at how I drank booze. Not so much looking at the drama or outer circumstances, but how was it with me and booze? How was it when I tried to control my drinking? Why did I feel the need to control my drinking? How was I when I was abruptly separated from booze once I had a good drunk started?
Ultimately, could I control the amount once I started, and/or, could I stay stopped for something like a year on my own power. When I read pages 30, 31, 32, 33, etc... I start to understand why I might just be an alcoholic.
It's also good to know what an alcoholic isn't. What is a hard drinker? What is a moderate drinker? A teetotaler? Can a hard drinker cross the line and become a real alky? Well, evidently yes. And once an alky, always an alky. But not just anybody can get drunk and become an alcoholic. It's complicated, but it just doesn't work that way. Alcoholism is a very selective malady and tests have been done to support this "theory" if you will. I like what a book Under the Influence says about the matter. But I don't like the doc's plan for recovery.
That's all we need, is another plan, right?
But I was given the dignity to find out for myself whether I was an alky or not. I was not forced, coerced, rushed, etc. into AA. I was given the dignity to come to my own conclusion and act accordingly. At one point, my group had to watch me fight recovery and go out and drink again. As the book say, alcohol is the Great Persuader. For it finally and once again "beat me into a state of reasonableness."
When I came back in, they said I looked whipped. They said I was quiet, scared, and didn't seem to have a plan. For me, that was the start of my first step. But I was given the gift of "being open to my first step" and follow the path of consideration.
To partake in a spiritual excercise, you have to start with a question, not an answer.
It was not necessary that I drink again because for one thing, that's dangerous for a guy like me. I could have died or killed people. But... I got in fear and refused to deal with it. Another plan is to see how well you stay sober on your own power. If neither that nor trying some controlled drinking doesn't work, you're probably an alcoholic.
Coming to the realization that you're an alcoholic should be a scary one. It was for me. For, left to my own devices, I will drink again. And for me to drink again means
death
insanity
incarceration.
So this idea of a God personal to me becomes pretty believable. That's how the 1st step shakes out for me. It's not just the 1st step as listed on the Step Scroll or on page 60. It's everything from Title Page, preface, forwards, Dr's Opinion, Bill's Story, There is a Solution, More about Alcoholism, and a paragraph on We Agnostics... other known as the Bedevilments... "We were having problems with personal relationships..."
And if you'll notice, the first 8 pages of Bill's Story is his drunkalog. You can ask yourself "How did I drink, think and feel like Bill?" Pages 9-16 was what he did to recover.
Up to page 23 or so... that's the physical "craving of booze" when it's in my body. From right after that to about page 43, that's the mental obsession or when alcohol is not in my body, but in my mind; the mental obsession. Then the bedevilments on page 52 talk to me about the spiritual malady, or my life without God, whether I'm sober or not.
Step 1, for me it didn't happen over night.
Step 2: God
God. That's what it's about. If God=Religion for you, you're in the wrong blog. Because God or an experience with God is not Religion.
From my experience, Step 2 is where you go immediately after a Step 1 experience.
For the alcoholic, there's but one choice; God or booze.
We become very open about the idea of a God that's personal to us, One we can tap into and experience, once we come to terms with our experience and perhaps future with booze, and our willingness to "become willing" to consider our own conception of God.
The book tells us where our "conception" of God is... deep down within ourselves is the "fundamental idea of God".
AA does not corner the market on God. There are many paths. It is said that AA doesn't even corner the market to sobriety. But it's the most successful solution to recover drunks on the planet. It's not the only show in town. It's just the best show in town.
Some people go to church and perhaps get it there. Church is wonderful for some. In fact, the book says that you should stay active in any religious denominations that we are accustomed to or were attending. The religous view of AA is that it should not interfere with any prior or current affiliations whatsoever. AA does not exclude Christians, Muslems, Judaism, Hinduism, etc. AA is just not allied with any particular one. AA is for alcoholics who want to recover. The problem with religion for an alcoholic like me is the fact that... at the end of the day, when they stub their toe, they don't drink. I drink.
So no matter what, I stay plugged into AA. It's that simple for me.
Booze drives me to God. And it's not a fun trip.
From my experience, Step 2 is where you go immediately after a Step 1 experience.
For the alcoholic, there's but one choice; God or booze.
We become very open about the idea of a God that's personal to us, One we can tap into and experience, once we come to terms with our experience and perhaps future with booze, and our willingness to "become willing" to consider our own conception of God.
The book tells us where our "conception" of God is... deep down within ourselves is the "fundamental idea of God".
AA does not corner the market on God. There are many paths. It is said that AA doesn't even corner the market to sobriety. But it's the most successful solution to recover drunks on the planet. It's not the only show in town. It's just the best show in town.
Some people go to church and perhaps get it there. Church is wonderful for some. In fact, the book says that you should stay active in any religious denominations that we are accustomed to or were attending. The religous view of AA is that it should not interfere with any prior or current affiliations whatsoever. AA does not exclude Christians, Muslems, Judaism, Hinduism, etc. AA is just not allied with any particular one. AA is for alcoholics who want to recover. The problem with religion for an alcoholic like me is the fact that... at the end of the day, when they stub their toe, they don't drink. I drink.
So no matter what, I stay plugged into AA. It's that simple for me.
Booze drives me to God. And it's not a fun trip.
Step 3; Made a Decision
Made a decision... = I am responsible!
So we all know from the book and the step scrolls on some of the walls at meetings that Step 3 is about making a decision.
Some like to further break it down into the fact that it's only a decision and is followed up by writing inventory as outlined by Step 4.
It consists of a prayer... with a warning at the end of it!
But what about this decision and what does it imply? Why should it be considered first and taken seriously? Why can it be so difficult?I believe that it's because the decision implies... that dreaded "R" word... Responsibility! But once taken, you're on your way to recovery and maturity.
I was given the awesome gift of responsibility the last time I came in from my last drunk. The group said, "It's up to you, bud. Either you're gonna do this stuff or you're not." I felt relieved of the truth in that statement. It was up to me. There wasn't any sponsor who was gonna have to put the bottle down for me. Nor was there a sponsor who was gonna do the steps for me.
In AA, we eat our own spiritual food.
So we all know from the book and the step scrolls on some of the walls at meetings that Step 3 is about making a decision.
Some like to further break it down into the fact that it's only a decision and is followed up by writing inventory as outlined by Step 4.
It consists of a prayer... with a warning at the end of it!
But what about this decision and what does it imply? Why should it be considered first and taken seriously? Why can it be so difficult?I believe that it's because the decision implies... that dreaded "R" word... Responsibility! But once taken, you're on your way to recovery and maturity.
I was given the awesome gift of responsibility the last time I came in from my last drunk. The group said, "It's up to you, bud. Either you're gonna do this stuff or you're not." I felt relieved of the truth in that statement. It was up to me. There wasn't any sponsor who was gonna have to put the bottle down for me. Nor was there a sponsor who was gonna do the steps for me.
In AA, we eat our own spiritual food.
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