SPIRITUALITY PART I

SPIRITUALITY PART I

AA is has always been defined as a spiritual program, but

unfortunately the term “spirituality” is often confused

with religion. I see this in reading criticisms of the

program by those who don’t understand AA, often

calling it a religion or cult. Various District Court

decisions have indeed ruled that mandatory attendance

at AA meetings for DUI offenders is a violation of t

he constitution, which prohibits the endorsement of any

religion. This in essence reflects an “official” view

that AA is a religion. But mandatory attendance at

meetings is a whole other issue that I won’t go into here.

I think the view of AA as a religious organization is

probably drawn from our constant reference to God.

We use the word God throughout the Big Book and

particularly in 12 Steps, the Traditions, and the

Promises. There are 3^rd, 7^th, and 11^th step prayers

as well as the Serenity Prayer used to open most

meetings and the Lord’s Prayer to close them. But only

in the steps do we see the caveat “as we understand him”.

If one takes the time to read the Big Book carefully,

and becomes familiar with the history of AA, they’ll

see that AA very carefully steers away from any

connotation of being a religious organization.

Religion is thought to be too inclusive, too restrictive.

Indeed the very thought of religion strikes fear in

the hearts of many alcoholics. We thus emphasize

the concept of a “power greater than ourselves” to

carefully avoid any connotation of religion. But this

recognition of a higher power nonetheless plays an

essential role in the AA program.

But why do we say “God” all the time? It’s

probably because we’re a Judeo-Christian

culture and the term is familiar to all of use.

It’s also a lot easier to say “God” than “God

as I understand Him”, or “a power greater

than myself” in any discussion. And indeed,

many of us believe in God as our higher power,

so that’s just what we say.

This idea of needing a higher power is initially

seen in the first 3 steps. I’m powerless. I no

longer think I can do this alone, only something

more powerful than I can do it. And this

power will help me if I ask. The key to the whole

program is that I can’t do it alone. It’s the first

acknowledgement of the powerlessness of self.

My first glimpse of humility. I, as an individual,

am not all powerful, not God. That, for me at least,

was one hell of a big step (or fall). My ego began

to deflate. I, who had never asked for help in

my life, recognized my utter helplessness in dealing

with my alcoholism. As with most of us, it was in

a pit of utter despair that I finally came to terms

with this higher power thing.

And I think there’s a certain paradox here in that

I was raised a Catholic and had 12 years of

Catholic education. I learned about religion,

theology, dogma. Prayer was always said in

the approved, rote format recited at the appropriate

times during the appropriate ceremonies. I read

Aquinas and Augustine. I knew all about God. He

was all knowing, all-powerful, eternal. These

things I knew. But this knowledge lead to

self-righteousness, the self-righteousness to

self-centeredness, and an eventual focus in life

solely on self. God, indeed the whole concept of

higher power, began to fade to the distant past.

I fell away from the Church, from God. I caught

a spiritual disease, a “soul sickness” as Fr. Martin

liked to call it. Self and ego took over my life.

“I” and “me” were the operative terms of my existence.

(Stay tuned to Part II of the continuing saga. In the next

segment I’ll begin to deal with the concept of spirituality.)